idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
