Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
