11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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