Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
