there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
