Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
