How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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