Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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