omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
we should paint friendship bongs
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