I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize