Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i drank out of a bidet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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