I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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