Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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