OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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