Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Are we still banned from the library?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
