just come out here and I will go home with you...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
