stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
