I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
