So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
