loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
