How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
You peed on a flamingo?!?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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