just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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