its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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