im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
