And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
