Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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