He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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