Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
