Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize