Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
