Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
