just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
