So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
