let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
