Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
