Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
