Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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