LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
