Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
