she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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