I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
