i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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