i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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