you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
