seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
