when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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