rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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