i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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