Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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