he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
