I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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