Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Randomize
