so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
