***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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