4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I did not marry a roomba.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize