Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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