toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
