she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
im holly from the hills drunk
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
