she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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