sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I supernannyed him into submission
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
