hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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