Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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