I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
