ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
