I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
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